Sparks of Feeling

tremulous, my heart rattles the cages of my mind every thought ringing with your name it is not a prayer. I do not allow myself prayers. to pray is to hope, and to hope is to dare. I am not daring. some days I am unsure whether my mind has my heart in a vice... Continue Reading →

Alone Together

I closed my eyes to try and get some space to clear my head but all I found was pressure pushing on my heart chest so tight, eyes and nose running I hurt, panic rose and then into my head came this image of your arms wrapped around me and holding in close embrace I... Continue Reading →

Giving Up

someone that I loved once told me - (when everything hurt, and I did not know how to go on) - that I should give up. that there was no point to anything. I was brave enough to ignore them. years later, my brother gave me a gift. a hunk of marble. it said: "never,... Continue Reading →

Away

for years now I have, very carefully, grown a place that is mine. that is safe. you'd call it a house, but it's more; it's somewhere I can hide from myself. cause it's hard to shut out the brain you carry round every second. so I built a home that was mine and that was... Continue Reading →

Eye Contact

I never look people in the eyes. It isn't a deliberate choice; I just can't. I used to, once, when I was younger - when looking was less painful. Things made more sense then. You see, we look each other in the eyes to see emotions; opinions; thoughts made manifest in the lines of a... Continue Reading →

(Un)bind Me

For years now I have wandered with you safe within my mind. To me you are as real as earth; a precious jewel I have confined. I know I must release you soon; no, I cannot keep you here. A prisoner within my thoughts that no one else may overhear. For in my mind you... Continue Reading →

Chasm

we are standing on identical mountains. there is a gulf of space between us - we try to jump, but mostly we just fall. so instead we call out to each other. we talk across this space and then, it is not quite so wide as it was. the words change us: we see that... Continue Reading →

Silhouette

When you sleep I watch you like a silhouette; Everything I didn't think I wanted, Laid out before me like an unexpected gift. Too old, too experienced, too taken, So unlike me in so many ways: we would never fit. Sometimes a beam of light shifts, And I see your profile in stark relief. How... Continue Reading →

Panic

The first sign is when everything gets louder. It’s almost as if it all moved closer; the traffic noise is no longer peripheral, it's right there against her eardrums along with the chatter of people talking and the pulsing of her heartbeat - which is the second sign. Thumping faster, she's sure it's happening now.... Continue Reading →

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