Unnecessary

there is a beat
that my heart skips
every time you speak
a leap
that my heart makes
whenever you smile
somehow
just being near you
makes me feel precious

you’re not here.

but
I think of you every day
and I’m still
not the one you turn to
I miss you every breath
and you still
don’t say hello
don’t say anything

and maybe if I loved you
in another way
I’d know what
to do with this skipped beat
with this heart leap
and maybe
it would hurt and hurt
and then heal itself away

instead
I see you smile and laugh
at someone else
and have to live, knowing
that I
am not
the friend
you chose
to lean on.

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