there is a beat
that my heart skips
every time you speak
a leap
that my heart makes
whenever you smile
just being near you
makes me feel precious

you’re not here.

I think of you every day
and I’m still
not the one you turn to
I miss you every breath
and you still
don’t say hello
don’t say anything

and maybe if I loved you
in another way
I’d know what
to do with this skipped beat
with this heart leap
and maybe
it would hurt and hurt
and then heal itself away

I see you smile and laugh
at someone else
and have to live, knowing
that I
am not
the friend
you chose
to lean on.

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