when I remember you, we are always in the library,
seated at the tables between the desk and the books
or in the computer room to the left,
because this was the place that united us;
the place where we all felt safe and understood.
I wish that I had realised then that you were mine,
my people, my friends, those who knew me.
instead I clung to you, then fled from you,
because I was so convinced you’d never loved me
I think of you more often than I would have imagined
if you had asked me in the years after we finished school.
I wonder at the doctors and vets and actors
that you all wanted so very badly to be.
and I hope, for you, in a way that I didn’t know how to
when we were teenagers
and so very, very lost.