Why ‘Why’ Matters

For a bit of background for this, you might want to read my most recent Patreon post. I have a problem – and the problem is, I still live every day of my life as if I need to desperately prove that I am worthy of existence. This fear of being unworthy doesn’t come from […]

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I’m not writing much fiction right now and that’s okay.

Let me totally honest: this blog post isn’t for you. It’s for me. Well, I’m hoping that it will be useful to you, too! But the amount I’m writing is something that weighs constantly on my mind. Because, you know, if you want to be a writer then…you’ve got to write things. That’s the one […]

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Anxiety

Photo by Bruce Warrington.

there is a kind of tirednessthat aches itself through my bonesa resonant song of fatiguethat has nothing to do with my body.it is my mind’s creation,this deep-seated exhaustion,and the only solution for itis to hide,hide,hide awaywhere no one can find me –until I am ready to pretend myself confidentall over again.

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Anxiety Attacks & Aftermaths

Picture by Aaron Blanco Tejedor.

Some cold callers came to my house this morning. Well, at least a week ago by the time you’re reading this. I’m still not convinced that they were legitimate. I know the sort of information you need about a person to commit fraud, and a lot of their questions were leaning that way. Things like […]

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Your Normal Is My Scary: 2 – Bra Fitting

I’ve always had a difficult relationship with clothing. It’s partly, perhaps even primarily, tied to my anxiety over money. But it’s also the fact that, well, our world isn’t the best to women who aren’t the “standard” size or shape. Which in the UK is about 3 sizes and nothing either side. Are you an […]

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tiny vibrations

I amthe tinyvibration of doubtthat you thinkis an earthquakecome to falland crush your dreams but don’t worry I have a cousinher name is hopeshe is a sparka flicker of lightbut cast into darknessshe is salvation ride my waves, little onehope is coming for youin the wake of my storm

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IRL, and the importance of our pixelated lives

I got onto the internet at a very young age. My father, a software developer, would hand down no-longer-sufficient computers to my brothers and I. We always had the highest speed internet despite living in the countryside. And so, as I grew older and more inclined towards anxiety, I spent more and more time online […]

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Letter to the Weary

I’m writing this for my future self – she’s going to need it, at some point. I thought you might like it as well. Save it, write your own, do whatever you need with this bit of care for your future self. Dear you, This is for a terrible day. Not the most terrible of days; not the ones where your soul has been peeled from your body and scraped across the mountain of your sorrows. For the days that are terrible, unexpectedly so, because everything just became a bit too much. It doesn’t matter why. […]

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The Voices of Silent Things

This is the piece that I submitted as my primary writing sample for university. It’s the background for a character in the Invisible Sun world – her life in Shadow – though you don’t need to know the setting to appreciate it. I really hope you like it. When I was a child, in the life […]

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The Great University Adventure: It’s Happening

Last year, I talked about my plans to apply for a MA in Creative Writing at my local university. For me, this isn’t just the chance to study the thing I love. It’s the culmination of the redemption that my recovery from severe depression has given me. It’s me regaining control of my life, and […]

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