Crowds

the trouble with crowds
is you can’t trust them.

crowds are loud
uncontrollable
they writhe and wend;
they’ll trample you
if you don’t stand firm.

i am afraid of crowds.
it seems to me
a perfectly logical fear.

people terrify me.
in crowds it’s worse,
and even if i block
the din of their sound
they are still too much.

but the last time
i was happy in a crowd
it was louder
than any crowd
i’ve been in since.

thousands of people
clustered in a field
all singing loud:
i’m a creep
i’m a weirdo

and i knew that i didn’t
belong there –
i knew that i couldn’t
hear the band
over the crowd

but i was home, home,
in a thousand thousand
people who felt that
they didn’t belong
anywhere at all.